Thursday, March 28, 2013

A long way to go.......Will I ever get there?

Time to reflect...I have come so far in the last few months yet I feel a million miles away from where I want to be in life. My future seems to be in the hands of everyone else now and that doesn't fill me with much confidence at all. 

I have done all I can at this moment. I'm still sat waiting, still sat here lost within myself, knowing I can do nothing, knowing that on the first inspection it appears I have nothing, that I have left everything behind. Yet everything I own is tied up in the hands of someone else with no quick means of releasing it.  Living with the bear necessaties of life and wanting, needing and hoping for so much more. 

Everyone, I'm sure, thinks I am selfish for making a huge decission to change my life so drastically but do they really see why? Do they see it was for the benefit of my girlies and myself?

 Why does it matter what people think? Will their attitudes change when I get where I want to be? People fast forget the huge progress you have made when there is a low point in your life. You truely do find out who is important to you within your family and network of friends when you hit rock bottom. Thankfully I have some fantastic friends helping me through this yet some people close by have surprised me.......well no, not surprised me as I should have known better.  The problem being, my rock bottom wasn't caused by me, my methods of sorting out the situation and changing our lives were my decission but I still see and maintain I had no other option. 

When I look back I have allowed other people to dictate my life to me. Although I was probably in a situation which on the surface appeared great to other people, I know I have actually only had about 12 months in 11 years which were truely happy. 

All I have ever tried to do is find happiness, find some calm for myself and my girlies. Why does that bother some people? Why do people make me feel I have to explain myself and my actions? I don't question other peoples lives, everyone lives how they want to, weather they are happy with their lives or not, their lives are their lives, they control them and they are nothing to do with me so why is my life open to discussion?

The future scares me enormously now, waiting fills me with dread, hoping for more seems useless now, not being in control of the situation is terrifing to me. I have a plan yet can't enforce it. I can't allow mysef to wish for things as I can't bear the knock back of dissapointment that it brings. 

All I can do is sit and wait. Sit and hope. Have faith that someone somewhere who knows my life path, knows where they are taking me and guides me there sooner rather than later........please! 


Friday, March 15, 2013

Weekend Waffle!!!

Hello friends,
I hope this finds you all well and that you all haven't got this horrendous rain we have which is now taking its toll on my spirit! It feels like Spring is still a long way away.
SO today is Comic Relief Day as I'm sure you are all aware from the fabulous night the Beeb are putting on........Miranda Hart is absolutely amazing....I love her! She has raised so soooooo much money this week.
Anyway ....  I finally threw an outfit together for my girlies to wear at school. It turned out ok in the end and they went off smiling with their donations. Its amazing what you can do with a bit of red net!

My comic relief girlie's
My makes
Whilst I was on the local market buying supplies to make these little tu-tu's I was drawn to the haberdasherie section with....yes....the dangerous stuff.....BUTTONS!!! (crafters sweeties!)

I obviously had to have some as their lovely Spring colours called out to me in my craving state for sunshine. The next problem being involving them in a Spring project.

Yes I know,,,,another project when there is so many UNFINISHED projects crying out to be finished.

In the end I opted for a quick and easy Grannie Cushion. I don't even have anywhere to put it yet but decided to use this spare time I seem to have an abundance of at present to get ahead of myself on little makes I can decorate my new home with. My new home that I haven't even found yet, let alone moved into. However it gives me something to concentrate on and I know what it will look like when I do find it and also how it will be decorated.

So here is the front piece of my new Spring like cushion cover with my new Spring like sweeties....hhhmm.....sorry I mean buttons! Its great as its a quick project that won't sit in my unfinished pile for an eternity!

 I love it and I think I now need to make another in a different colour way!
As we previously discussed life has changed and I am now trying to find my feet here in the UK again. Well this week I rediscovered the Library! Now I love the internet for instantly being able to find what you are looking for yet you can't beat holding a library book in your hands.

 The smell of the library takes me back donkeys years too. I can't explain it but its just a calming and pleasant experiance. A bit of time out from the hustle and bustle of life outside the Library walls.

My girlies came along and we all have a new library card and can spend some quality time together away from the TV.

They were really funny, I don't think they GET the concept really! That you are allowed to take several books for several weeks.....without paying for them.....then swap them for some new ones??????! They looked at me like I was talking jibberish!

 It was a lovely hour spent after school all together. Clutching their piles of well chosen books and their membership cards they were beaming.

My eldest Girlie Wirlie chose a kiddies craft book and a fancy dress book....yey! I will be having a sneaky peak! Also a book about the Queen. (She is definately a mini me! My Girlie not the Queen of course!!!) Then they sat reading out facts and dates like " When was the Queens Coronation?" or "How old was the Queen when she had Prince Charles?"...........I do have all the answers should anyone want them!

 I'm really pleased at the interest she has shown and like I say, it doesn't involve a TV, DS or a mobile!!! RESULT!!

I also found two interesting books to bring home with me. "Crochet Accessories" and "Shed Chic".

I have been flicking through them both. The Shed Chic has some lovely shed conversions, offices, workspaces and studios. The photos are lovely.

They brought back memories of my poor little "Vintage Suzie" caravan still sat in France without me.

 I miss her. I don't know if I will get her back but I hope so. I have spent many a happy hour in there with my basket of yarn and hook, tea and chocolate. I love her so.

  I took out all my caravan chintzy bits and bobs so at least I have those here as a reminder but she is bare without them and all on her lonesome sat in dreary Normandy. She needs love and chintz and clutter!

 Hopefully one day we may be reunited again.

I discovered these chicken coops.  Aren't they fab!  Take a peek!

And when I win the Lotto this gorgeous little caravan will be parked on my estate!
 Oh to dream!
And finally.......... a finished project!

 TA-DAH!!!..........One finished baby blanket.

 I think it looks quite sweet. Scarey to think in a few short months it will have a loving new owner! AAAAAHHHHHH
Anyway changing the subject quickly before I have another panic attack!
There you have it. My recent events and waffle!!
I hope everyone has a lovely weekend with a touch of Spring. If not with the weather, with some colour, treats and special people.

 I'm going off now to have a major tidy up as my lovely Mum is on her way home from a sunny beach (God she will get a shock with the temperature difference) and I haven't done a great deal since she left other than the essentials, hooving and washing up! My ironing pile is HUGE!!
 So HI HO...Its off to work I go !!!!!!!!

Best wishes
Nicky xx


Monday, March 11, 2013

Red nose day fancy dress........HELP!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!

Morning ladies....and gents.......although not sure how many gentlemen tune into my blog apart from my family and good friends. So Morning Everyone!
I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Mine was rather lazy but it was supposed to be so it went to plan.
So today I am sat frantically trying to think of 2 more fancy dress ideas for my girlie's for Friday's Red Nose Day!
Im scouring the web for inspiration and not coming up with much really.
Looks like it is going to be a trip to the market and some more sewing projects!!!  A few late nights for me on the horizon then!
We had one fancy dress day a year at the girlie's school in France and all year to prepare for it but this is the second in their 3rd week of school.
Brilliant fun for the girlie's and great for the charities involved but not so great for me who took the, obviously wrong decission I see now, to not bring over all their fancy dress box of clothes just yet as we were short of room! Never mind, its keeping me busy and something else to think about!
So Im off in the search of stripy tights, netting for tu-tu's, T'shirts to decorate!!
Anyone with any bright ideas???? Im open to suggestions, 2 outfits needed, cost is also an issue and time is a factor too!
Thank you in advance
Best wishes for a happy Monday.
Nicky xx 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Dear My Mum.

Another Mothers Day arrives,
The years seem like they fly,
I'm happy to be able to say,
For this year, I'm close by.
For every year I'm miles away,
Unable to share with you,
What should be a very special day,
With lots of hugs and fun things to do.
I can not express just how I feel,
All the things you do for me,
The love, the support, the help you give,
It comes ever constantly.
I'm so proud to have a Mum like you,
So special you'll always be,
Even living together now,
Fills my heart with glee!
Peas in the pod we've always been,
So how we cope......remains to be seen.
In your little house we all squash in,
Close and cozy like beans in a tin!
With a house full of girlie's,
And just one loo,
First up and dressed is a challenge too!
Our nightly chats and bags of crisps,
Chocolate, wine and nibbles too,
Taste so much better now,
I'm sharing them with you.
I've missed all the times we could have had,
Whilst living across the sea,
But happy to be home again,
Close by with you and me.
I love you more than I could ever say,
and pleased we are together,
To share a laugh or a special day
I hope it lasts forever.
Happy Mothers Day Mum!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Crochet progress, bumps again, fancy dress and yummy treats!! Bit of a mixed bag but what the hell!

Hello friends

As I said recently I was tackling some new projects. Just simple grannies, things I can do without having to think about it. They are so calming and seem to have helped me stay relatively sane recently. As soon as I'm hett up I dig out my needle and do another grannie.

Also having the selection of wool I have to hand here in the UK is a help, not only a good choice of colours and material but competative prices too compared to that in Europe.

I am finding my inspiration making steady progress as well as my grannies.

SO here we have a few part made blankets ready to make a half-time appearence. They aren't ready for a big TA DAH moment yet but keep watching I have very little else to do with my time just now.

Firstly my OWN blanket,,,,,, it makes a change to be able to say OWN,,,,,,,usually they are for my girlies!

I promised to make myself a HUGE multi coloured delight and here it is coming together nicely.

Then after reading Mollie Makes this month I jumped onto the idea of using the multicoloured baby type wool,,,,sorry I don't know the correct terminology for it but you know what I make My Bump a cot blanket!

BUMP....yes you heard right.....I have another BUMP!! Hopefully only until the start of July then I will be back to normal and in my jeans again!

Anyway,, going slightly off track there....sorry about that.

Here are my neat little grannies awaiting sewing together. How lovely they look, sat patiently waiting to be made into some delightful little cosy blanket . It was an unexpected project to start but aren't they all? I like the idea that it has come together quickly and is looking quite cute even if the colours are rather pale for me.

In the middle of it all I have spent 2 nights frantically making costumes for World Book Day!

Its not an easy task when you need to find two different fancy dress outfits that must be characters from well known books. Especially when my girlies are very specific at what they will and not wear!

In the end we opted for Alice from Alice in Wonderland and Dorothy from Wizard of Oz.

We now have red glitter all over the house from Dorothy's red glittery shoes I spent an hour glueing!!! Tu-Tu underskirts......??!!! You know the ones made from itchy net your mother used to put you in? Well I had to make two of them to go under their summer dresses that, thankfully, I didn't have to make. Two aprons also.

What you need to realise is this.....I am useless at any form of dress making type projects, they are just too intricate for me to concentrate on. Also my MUMMY is away sunning herself on a lovely beach so I couldn't call upon her expert opinion to guide me through how to do this, let alone talk her into doing them for me. Pity.

So I am proud to say "I did it"......"On my own!" ......."With NO help." They might not be the best outfits ever but Alice, Dorothy and I were all quite pleased with the outcome!!!!

This weekend will involve plenty of peace and quiet..hopefully that is, with some homely luxuries thrown in, my favorite being sticky hot cross buns and steaming tea...........Oh I love this time of year filled with sweet yummy treats.

I will then crack on with my grannies and a bit of cosy reading or Molly Makes and my Mums new Enid Blyton book, Naughty Amelia Jane......I'm really looking forward to that although she said it was bought for my girlies to read I think I might have to see if I can add it to my collection! On loan of course!

I hope everyone has a nice Mothers Day weekend with lots of cosy, snuggly treats and that you get to spend it with your special Mummy's, if not in person, in thought.

Speak soon my lovelies.......Happy crafting!

Best wishes

Nicky xxx



Saturday, March 2, 2013

Vintage craft fair, new friends and High School offers!

Good afternoon Lovlies.....

I just bobbed in tell you about my lovely morning.

Those who know me, know I have only just come back to the UK after 8 years living in the back and beyond in France. Nothing goes on there so my usual weekend would entail cleaning, maybe a little walk, some grocery shopping, tv watching and possibly a visit to see my lovely friend..........miss you honey.......anyway, the weekend would come and go without much occuring.

TODAY HOWEVER............Mum and I went into town and were utterly delighted when we stumbled upon a Vintage and Craft Fair. Oh the JOY!!!!! What a lovely morning we had. With lots of stalls from crafters and fellow bloggers, an adorable little tea room with delicious home made scones and tea served in cute vintage china tea cups and saucers.......Oh I was in my element and can't wait for the next one. As a Vintage Fair virgin (not through choice but through living in the sticks) I can't think of a better way to spend a weekend and can't wait to be able to find some more events the same.

It has given me lots of inspiration and kicked me up the "you-know-what" to get a shift on with my new blanket.

I would also like to say "Hello" to my new followers....I love meeting new people even if only by the World Wide Web!!! Life's bringing me lots of new things at the challenges, new friends, (to add to my oldest bestest friends I might add,,,not to replace!!!!!!) new experiences, new places to visit or places I forgot about or was not particularly interested in several years ago but now I find fascinating. All these new things are keeping me going, keeping me sane and calmer. So thank you everyone for your comments, your support, not only to my followers but to my lovely family and friends who are putting up with me just now. Love you lots and please bear with me whilst I travel through this challenging period in my life. I will hopefully come out the other side stronger than before and up for everything.

My two oldest daughters have been an absolute credit this week. I am so proud of them as whilst Im sat here worry about my challenges and worries ahead, I have to remind myself that they
 have had a difficult week too and come out the other side smiling.

They have both started a new Primary School this week. Completely different to what they were used to as its a UK school and they have up until now tackled all their school lives in French Schools. Im so so very proud of them how they have settled in already. My eldest girlie wirlie has just received her offer for Senior School where she will be off to in September. Feeling rather excited and scared at the same time!! I'm pleased with our offer and glad we are finally making plans that go past the next week or so because that is as far as I can bear to think and plan just now.
My likkle girlie growing to quickly!!!! Please stop now!!! Where does time go?

So there you have it, my waffle for the weekend. I hope the weekend is treating you all kind and there is lots of crafting going on!

Best wishes, speak soon
Nicky xxx