Well.........sorrry its late (you will understand why it is when I fill you in on the last few weeks) but Happy New Year.........May 2013 bring everyone good health, happiness and joy.
So my last few weeks.........where to start. I have payed a long overdue visit back the UK to see my lovely familly and friends. I had an absolutely fabulous time and really felt at home there with my girlies, at peace, calm and relaxed. (oh and more importantly, I stocked up on yarn!!!!!! YYYYIIIPPPEEEEEE!!!!!!
As I said on a previous posting, my Christmas this year was somewhat different to what I'm used to and I have to admit I didn't really enjoy it at all. Away from my family and friends, immersed into unknown traditions and cultures that I didn't particularly enjoy or agree with. It was supposed to be the first lovely Christmas with my farmer, the first as a new family and I ended up feeling so low and realised exactly what I wanted out of life and my future and unfortunately this was not it at all.
I sat on Boxing Day evening when the electric went off for 3 hours in the dark, by myself, just me and my thoughts and there it was....clear as a bell,,,,,this life isn't for me anymore, I want to do whats right for me and my girls, I had had enough. My mind was made up.........I had to make a serious lifestyle change. A lifestyle change that I knew was going to be so difficult to undertake but was a "Must do" for my survival.
I went over to the UK to spend some quality time with my family over the New Year to clear my mind and focus on the future and how I was going to get where I wanted to be. Like I said, I had a lovely time and came back desperately upset that I needed to come home at all but knowing I needed to to be able to deal with everything to set up my future happiness and that of my girlies.
Within a week of coming back I had packed up, moved back into my house (shared with my ex) and started frantically packing ready for a huge move for the girls and I back to the UK, back to where I came from, back to my family and friends, back to where I know, to what I know, to the calm and peace of mind and back to my mother tongue!!
I'm still here busily packing, cleaning, organising and although feeling rather panic stricken when I think about what Im about to undertake, I also feel quite excited and positive and can imagine the weight being lifted from my shoulders. I have thought positive thoughts as oftern as possible and this has helped me greatly with every huge hurdle that I have jumped the last few weeks and there have been some horrible ones to jump. I know completely 100% that it is the right thing to do for me and my girls even though I know it will upset some people on the way. I have had to be very selfish and think of just me and my girls and no one else. However I would question: "why does is it feel as if you are being selfish to think of ones self and no one else?" ...........hmmm?
Anyway,,,, that's it in a nutshell. I have had to find a new home for my poor 2 little piggies, but they went happily yesterday to a huge field with lots of other farmyard friends and hopefully they are going to be very happy there. I have also had to let go my classic MG BG T, sold today. These were essential things I have had to let go of to help me get where I am going. I will be where I want to be this time next month and most definatley this time 2014 my life will look rather rosie. Why???????????? Because I am thinking positive and I have told myself my life will be happy, calm and prosperous!
So if you don't hear from me in a while, do keep an eye out, I will be back as soon as I get a mo to fill you in on my progress.
In the meantime best wishes to you all
Love Nicky xxxx